seekingserendipity's Blog

Christmas Eve, yo!

This blog has been marked as containing adult content. Your current adult settings prevent you from seeing it. Please go to your account settings page and change your settings to allow adult content to view this blog

Ghosts of Christmas Past

Christmas is coming up in less than a week! My family (due to large amount of offspring) decided to stop buying everyone individual gifts and just reduce it to Secret Santa, so we all get one reasonably cheap gift. This also stopped the inequality that happens when one person is easier to buy gifts for. I am pretty excited about Christmas, because, the days activities are pretty much everyone baking and cooking all day to prepare for a unnecessarily massive meal (dinner) that nobody can finish. Copious amounts of delicious food is the best thing ever.

My over keenness for this festivity made me volunteer to make a dessert and a mains meal, I'll regret that later when I actually have to prepare them, but for now I can drool over future feasting.

In the past my family have had some shockingly bad Christmases. Every year there has been a big drama that ruins the mood. Like the year before last, when we first started the "Secret Santa" thing, the middle sister , D went behind everyone's backs and got my parents an expensive holiday trip for Christmas. The passive aggression levels were through the roof that day. Another year, the only year my Grand mother graced us with her presence (don't get me started on my Grandmother; put it simply she is queen on passive aggression!), it was second youngest sister B's first year of being allowed to legally drink alcohol. So she drank too much and my mum got super embarrassed, and, well you get the idea.

Whatever happened in those previous years that made everyone upset and tense (The year my brother just got out the psych ward, The year my sister L broke down into tears because of all the super competitive atmosphere going on between my siblings, the year Christmas dinner didn't have any meat in it - what a sad year that was...) THIS YEAR WILL BE THE YEAR THAT ROCKED.

Why? Well some good stuff has happened for my family this year that I am very thankful for. My brother P quit his dead end job and started studying something he truly loves, my sister B got into University and moved out, Same for my sister D, my sister G graduated from university with a Phd, and my mum finally enrolled herself into an art course, something she's been wanting to do for ages.

So, this post is probably boring anyone who reads it, but for the inevitable tough times in the future, I'd like to be able to remember that at least for this briefest of moments, my family has the capacity to not be collectively depressed all the time. If only we didn't get upset over the smallest problems we could all realize how well things are going now that we stopped stressing over each others lives!

I for one, find it really hard not to get stressed over all my siblings problems... Like, imagine you had a sibling who was severely depressed, and another who was schizo-active, and another who had been diagnosed with chronic schizophrenia since he was in high school  a covert narcissistic sibling with an anxiety disorder... Suddenly my feelings of loneliness and sadness seem so insignificant in comparison to their problems. I guess that's why I never bother voicing my issues. There are bigger problems my family are dealing with.

Now that I have found EP, I feel a bit more relaxed I must say. Knowing I am not the only person dealing with personal problems. You see it a lot every day, on bill boards TV advertisements, that people are out there who have mental disorders. But when you are sitting on the train every day, seeing a bunch of people who from your perspective are perfectly happy and well adjusted, it is so easy to feel like the odd one out.

Well, now I am rambling, so I will be quiet now.

TLDR: Is that things are going pretty okay right now, and I am feeling surprisingly positive about next year despite some shitty things.


How the Masquerade went. (Not good.)

This blog has been marked as containing adult content. Your current adult settings prevent you from seeing it. Please go to your account settings page and change your settings to allow adult content to view this blog

Masquerade Party's are the coolest parties. (Except when you don't like anyone there.)

First blog post!

I came home from work today, and collapsed onto my bed for a nap. My cat Ghost crawled onto my back to nap with me. She is the cutest most affectionate pet ever.

You know what sucks? There is a masquerade Christmas party coming up for work. I love the idea of a masquerade! It would freaking cool if there was like ball room dancing and classical music. From my bosses description  however, a modern day masquerade party has guys wearing halo-ween masks and girls in clubbing dresses. For this particular event it is 'smart casual'. So it won't be decorative and elegant. I also don't talk to anyone at work, really, so the appeal of discovering who's under the mask is gone.

I should really use this as a chance to try and talk to someone and push myself out of my comfort zone. Maybe wearing a mask will give me freakish courage to talk to one of my colleague's from a different department. Because if they wont recognize me later, and I can make a fool of myself and I wont be remembered, ha ha! I don't think that will cut it, really. Even when I'm drunk I don't open up to people, stupid over active defense mechanisms.

I have no idea how to approach this,  I definitely don't want to build myself up to have a good time when I'm most likely going to be silent, and will refuse to dance or eat (because I'll get self conscious eating in front of a large group of people! :I)

At least I will have a Phantom of the Opera mask - that nobody will recognize - but that's okay because I'll know that it's a cool musical reference! (Fist bump, self, props to you!) I'll silently search the party for a woman named Christine and serenade her. If she asks, I'll call myself ~the angel of music~ and laugh manically. (See this is why I don't talk to people. I don't think my sense of humor is widely appreciated, ha ha.)

We'll see how it goes this week.

1-2 of 2 Blogs   

Previous Posts
Christmas Eve, yo!, posted December 24th, 2012
Ghosts of Christmas Past, posted December 19th, 2012
How the Masquerade went. (Not good.), posted December 14th, 2012
Masquerade Party's are the coolest parties. (Except when you don't like anyone there.), posted December 11th, 2012

Here are some friends' blogs...

How to Embed Photos in your Blog Embed Photos How to Embed Videos in your Blog Embed Videos